Dear Honorable President Trump: We were so sorry to hear that your (outstanding, excellent, bitchin’ good idea) deal to buy Greenland fell through. The island would have made for some lovely golf courses. And we can imagine luxurious Trump Towers dotting the coast, offering vistas of both sea and greens. You’re such an amazing and successful businessman because you recognize a really smart investment when you see it.
St. Louis Park High School, Minnesota, 1979, on the strange and stormy night of our graduation ceremony. A gypsy fortune teller sets up her tent in a small corner of the parking lot, and she offers glimpses of an event 40 years into the future. We newly-minted graduates see our older selves gather at a gleaming Colossus of Football, built over the ruins of a more prosaic facility for which construction would commence