I have the lab results, Mrs. Nussbaum, and the news is mixed.
As we thought, your levels of thyroid hormone are a little low.
We could supplement, but I recommend we watch carefully for now.
I am more concerned about your cholesterol. It really is too high.
Aarrgh! Me beauty! I’ve seen me years in ships at sea and none be
as fair as yer lovely self. Avast, Dolores, come sail with me
and me hearties! I swear, if any matey so much as whistles unkindly
towards ye I’ll keelhaul him for sure. You like rum, do you?
A dietician just joined our staff. I would like you to meet with her.
Oh, what is her name? I am so bad. We need to lower the cholesterol,
Mrs. Nussbaum. Adjusting diet is the best way. Medication would be
the next option, but it is very pricey. Insurance pays only a part.
Aye, don’t torture yer humble servant, this old tar before ye.
Turn me down, Dolores, and I’ll toss me weary bones into the deep,
they’ll salvage me carcass for the chumbucket. Aaarrgh, your fine bosom
has bewitched me tired eyes, that’s what it be, not that I’m complaining.
Any questions today, Mrs. Nussbaum? I am pleased with
your health overall, although I wish you would exercise more.
Do you like biking, jogging, swimming? I swim ten laps at the club
every morning. Does a whole world of good, believe me.
Here’s me secret, swear on yer father’s grave you’ll never tell.
Doubloons be buried on Dead Man’s Island. A full chest, rubies and
emeralds too so the tale tells. Leave yer landlubbin, Dolores,
we’ll be king and queen of the south seas. Avast! Ahoy! Aarrgh!